My thoughts : A bird of passage

Sitting near my desk

Thinking about my friends

Roving are my thoughts

Keep on roaming for hours

Nomadic thoughts of mind

Reached the days of school life

When the only thing you hated

Was your teachers cunning smile

Those fights with your mates

Coz they broke your chalk and slate

But those broken things of your

Were Better than the broken heart

Suddenly everyone is silent

Coz the teacher turned violent

But for us the noise of class

is better than the pop and rock

Since its lunch time of ours

We ought to chew the food in jaws

But we have nothing to eat

Coz we ate the food in class

Now The school's about to end

And we are waiting for the bell

Trinnn... trinnn...... Thrice!

And we move out like the wind

Then the sudden thud in room

And my thoughts are forced to gloom

Perhaps Mom's gonna enter

My hellacious study room

She passed a groovy smile

With a thought in her mind

Thar I'm studying for the test

But my god knows the best.

A sheer accident or an Intelligent creation?

Cosmology has always been something my heart feels comfortable with. The vastness of this scientific field with a touch of religion has become a soul mate of mine. Thanks to the book “Brief history of time” whose author Stephen hawking once used to be my inspiration but his recent polemic book, “Theory of everything” coerced me to write against him. His claim of nonexistence of God not only invites ridicule but helps in eliciting choler in theists as it spites their religious persuasions. Personally in my life he fell from a position of being next to Einstein to a person who has a tidy gen but lacks understanding. In this blog I’ll try to show that universe is not a result if accidental creation but was cleverly made by someone who wanted us to be here and wanted us to think why we are here.
          Science says universe was created at big bang and before creation it was nothing but a point. Some people fancy this as if they are looking at a point from outside, which is entirely wrong. Since we are part of universe so there is no way that we can go out of the point and look at it from distance. It could be understood by an example, imagine a balloon represents the point from which universe was created and we are trapped into the balloon, we can look anywhere in a balloon but not out of it and also imagine there is even no space outside balloon as space also belongs to the universe which is just a point before big bang. (Don’t try to imagine no space as it will sound absurd, which indeed it is but with a touch of divine hand this could be achieved).  Now this balloon exploded with tremendous energy. Matter within it starts spreading across the space which also got created by this explosion. Acc. To science this explosion resulted in the formation of galaxies planets and all heavenly bodies or simply a violent explosion resulted in the formation of organized and symmetric universe. Strange! Isn’t it? It’s like thinking an atomic bomb dropped in Sahara desert created a beautiful city or an explosion in twin towers brought them down and created a single much bigger tower. Imagine we throw various parts of an airplane from the buildings which assemble themselves on their own to form US air force’s F15 Eagle. Do you think that any of the above events are possible? It’s a thermodynamic law which states when things are left to themselves they get chaotic not organized.
          Science says universe was created from a point. When we ask them what did the point constitute? They say mass-energy. Where did this mass-energy come from? Sshhhh… they are silent. Dear science you yourself proposed the breakdown of one of the basic laws of nature that, “Matter can’t be created out of nothing” but look universe was created out of a single point. Yeah! It was created out of nothing.
          Now I just want to ask those who don’t believe in God and still believe that universe is a result of coincidence. Dear Atheists, how often have you seen a monkeys typing randomly on a typewriter coming up with Shakespeare’s sonnets? What would you think of my mental state if I’ll tell you that the concord of London city is a result of sheer accident? You’ll definitely think that the blogger has turned balmy. This is what God thinks of you when you say that universe, which is much beautiful much larger and much symmetric than your London city, was created by chance and its inhabitants the Homo sapiens and other trillions of living species were created by genetic mutation. Have you ever seen a hurricane making up a city? No? Then how can you possibly believe that genetic mutations, which results in a birth of paralyzed new born, resulted in the creation of an intelligent being like you like me who has potential to question the creation itself.
          Dear friends don’t believe on whatsoever you read. Go into your room sit down and think for a moment. Such a beautiful world with millions of living species each having their own identity, such big mountains, beauty of sunrise & sunset, moon coming out, winds blowing, rainbows, bird chirps, our talk, our understandings, OUR EXISTENCE, out off such a Brobdingnagian and vast universe just one planet; our earth supporting such delights and then face your eyes in the mirror and ask yourself. Is this a result of sheer coincidence? You’ll find the answer deep in your heart you’ll know that universe is not an accidental creation but it is created by someone who wants us here and who wants us to think why we are here.

I feigh I've got a good life.

You came in first and suddenly you left
And ripped my heart out of my chest
I looked at you and faked a smile
But the truth is that it Bruises inside
Days would come and days would go
But the tears of pain would continue to flow

Maybe I'll learn to control my tears
But the scars of heart won't fill for years
And when the scars would shriek in pain
From deep inside I'll curse your name
But if I'll curse; my soul would cry
Coz it once assured that together we'll die.

Now dying together looks like a jape
Even a dear life we were unable to make
Now the sun of hope just gloom on me
And the butterflies just started to flee
But don't you worry O' pretty little mine
I'm good to feign I've got a good life.

I'm Strong enough to live without you!

This is my first poem and i came up with it while traveling in the bus.


I'm not rich and I'm not Smart
But I do have a beautiful heart
I can't buy you cars and stars
But I can hide all of your scars.

You never understood what lies inside
You always thought I've got something to hide
You never loved me the way i did
For my love even sky was not the limit

Now I'm strong enough to live without you
Yes I'm Strong enough to die without you
I'm strong enough to curse your name
I'm strong enough to feel that pain

Hell with you and with your smile
Hell with reasons that led to good-Bye
Hell with the moments we spent together
Hell with the promise of loving forever.

Come Back!

Those were the days when talking to me for a minute used to make your day, when we used to meet and the butterflies flew instantly, when my kiss alone could fuel the fire of happiness for life time. Those were the days when your smile used to make me feel like a Prince, when looking into your eyes was the only thing i wanted to do, when your touch made me numb.

Alas! Gone are those days. Now you don't like my presence anymore, you don't like when i follow you, you don't like when i try to talk to you and the irony was when you claimed that you were flirting with me from past 3 years. I don't believe you, Maybe you can lie to me but your eyes can't, maybe you can try to ignore me but you can't forget to miss me, maybe you can leave me in the middle of nowhere but you can't stop thinking about me. Maybe you can fake a smile but your eyes can't deceive me.

You broke me, you broke my heart, you broke everything You turned my world upside down and inside out, but I know it was worth it for that one moment of love we had, it's a shame it went bad. I want you back! I want to do something that can bring you closer to me, i want to do something really foolish and quite annoying, No! I can't cut my arm neither would I try to, because i am the one who used to laugh at those who sliced there arms apart for their beloved, i am the one who used to tease those who cried when they broke apart. I value my ego more than anything, so i won't let those people laugh at me.

Dear you, I would not miss you but i would miss the one what i thought you are.

Dear Mom...Its Your son

My single mistake and she trounced on me, "You are careless, you don't care for your family, you don't care for us bla bla bla. Yeah there were the words that I had to hear from my mother when i forgot to put the milk bowl into the refrigerator when she left for office.
        I was feeling pathetic because of my mistake, but the words of my mother didn't invite shamefulness but helped in arousing choler in me. I wanted tell my mother that:-
I'm not careless but its the impuissance of my mind to remember such silly things like putting the milk bowl into refrigerator etcetra. Mom! Indeed I always have a smile on my face and Taylor Swift & Avril Lavigne songs on my lips, but its not only thing with which my mind is occupied. My mind is also possessed with thoughts about my studies, career and future. My mind is also engaged with questions like, Should i go abroad for studies or not? Will it be right to leave my parents here alone? Will my Dad afford the hefty tuition fees?
       My Mother always says i don't study a bit. Well Mom! How did you forgot that I'm the one who leaves for tuition at 5'O clock in the morning at come back home at 5pm. Dear Mamma, I don't go to dance clubs or cinemas, i spend these 12 hours in schools and tuition. Heck Yeah! I Do Study. Yeah! I'm the one who lost 10 kg from my underweight body since i was promoted to 12th standard and mom how do you know that I don't care for My parents. I Do care for you people and that's the only reason that prevents me from hanging from the fan or jump from the bedroom window.

A Day In kashmir

I wake up early in the morning and the first thing i do is to search for a candle so that i could light up the room because govt. ain't sincere enough to provide 24 hour electricity despite of the fact we pay heavy electricity bills, then i go into the washroom and open the tap, expecting warm water to flow out of it, but soon i realize that i'm not stargazing and in Kashmir warm water flows out of the taps only in dreams, thus my plans of bathing are ruined. So i wash my hands and face with COLD water and brush my teeth and remove my night dress to wear school uniform. Then all of our family members get assembled to have breakfast. After having breakfast i leave for school. While walking down the road i saw dozens of stray dogs barking at each other. Although i'm known to the fact that "Barking dogs Seldom bite" but still i do not take any chance because i'm not sure whether this is applicable in Kashmir or not. Then I wait for a while until any elder passes by and i take his help to pass the deadly point. After this i wait for the bus to come at the bus stop. The bus service of RAJBAGH is so famous that our relatives always give a second thought before deciding to visit us. In the mean time i see bus approaching whose assistant driver, known as conductor in vernacular, is shouting Barzulla-Barzulla. I always wanted to inform the conductor that literacy rate in Kashmir has shot up to 65.67% in recent years and people now are able to read the destination written in front of the bus. Anyways i get into the bus and if i'm lucky enough i'll get a place to stand and if not then i have to manage hanging at the back side of the bus, only miracle can give me a place to sit in the bus. Sometimes such miracle happens and i get an opportunity to feel the luxury of the public bus. I usually don't remember what happened during the journey from RAJ Bagh to Barzulla because i usually fall asleep inside the bus, thanks to the govt. guest house where some foreigners enjoy music at high volumes till late midnight. Suddenly some voices disturb my peaceful sleep, its passengers shouting at Mr.conductor who is boarding passengers in the bus like he is making traditional aanchar. this does not affect me because imma frequent traveler and this is a common scene in the public bus.When i opened my eyes i see a couple of young women gazing at me with anger, they were expecting me to give them a chance to sit on the seat where i was sitting, but i'm not a misogynist, I believe that women should be given equal rights as men and if they want equal rights then they should also learn to suffer equally.Then i stood up from the seat, i asked a lady to sit there, but it was too late i couldn't convince her. However my intention wasn't to please her, actually i'm about to reach my destination and i'm trying to approach the bus door. After struggling a lot I managed to reach the door and asked Mr.Conductor to stop the bus, after so many requests he finally slowed down the bus and ordered me to jump from it, if he stops the bus his rival will overtake him and will sweep all the passengers waiting at the next bus stop. However i jumped from the slow moving bus and my polished shoe fell into the mud. I'm not worried about it what i'm worried about is the box carrying my tiff-in which i forgot inside the bus. I thought to run after the bus, but the driver has took up the speed to beat his rival, however i decided not to test my stamina. while thinking about the tough scolding that i'm gonna get from my mother tonight, i removed the mud from my shoe with the help of water which is easily available from the leaking water pipe.After such a troublesome journey i move into the school and enjoyed the day with my friends. I am starting to feel hungry, remember the tiff-inbox that i lost in the bus.I was enjoying to see my friend mocking our science teacher when the school bell rang and we rushed outwards just like we are visiting our homes for the first time. I rushed towards bus stand at waited for a bus to come, to my surprise i saw a bus approaching in which most of the seats are vacant and Mr.Conductor also is not shouting the destination name, maybe this conductor knows about the literacy rate. but soon i started cursing all the powers on earth when people from the bus stop rushed towards the bus and within no-time the bus was filled. I was angry and impuissant too. I also managed t get a place on the bus but this time i did not sleep because elders say tragedies occur in a blink of an eye, and when you are hanging at the backside of the bus then the chances are doubled. after some time i reached my destination and i came down from the bus i gave Mr.Conductor Rs.4 as bus fare and he left. I'm so happy because its not every time that drivers take the bus fare according to students rate. but my happiness does not last long as the flash back of morning event, Tiff-in box, came to my mind. I started moving towards my home and began to think some excuses that can save me from my mothers scolding. In the meantime i saw some bikers doing some stunts on the convent road, first i thought that they were professional stunts-men but soon i ruled out this idea when a person fell from his expensive CBZ and broke his leg, he came to the road to impress the school girls but only managed to please Mr.Yamraj. i continued moving towards my home, i saw a board saying "Zanana Park Under Construction" this is the board which was installed four years ago under mufti govt. and i'm waiting for the day when it will be replaced with "Zanan Park Now In use". After zanana park comes police station, thats why i moved to the other side of road, because it is said in Kashmir that "whatever you do where ever you go but never go to police".Then came the main market where i saw people arguing with butcher who is not selling butchered meat at reasonable prices, i also saw some travelers bargaining with rickshaw driver who is charging them hefty some of money, in kashmir rickshaw drivers do not have a proper uniform and they also dont have a meter installed in their rickshaw. At last i reached my home and i started banging the door but no one except some neighbors, who got irritated from my banging, came out. only then i realized that the door remains locked and the keys are in my bag, i take out the keys open the door and get into the house, i threw my bag, and took out a pen and a page and wrote a note and hanged it near the entrance expecting my mother comes and reads what is written in it. after this i felt asleep. After some time somebody woke me up, i was shocked to see my mother sitting in front of me and grinning at me first i thought she didn't see the note but soon i realized that she did and also forgave me for the loss of tiff-in box. Do you know what i wrote in the note? "2 things i wanna say to you 1st Lost the tiff-in box in the overcrowded bus and 2nd I Love You Mom!". this was enough to please my mom and she hugged me passionately, my moms love was enough to wipe out all the tiredness of the day.